BOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnng.
So, I saw The Adjustment Bureau yesterday. Um, it didn't blow me away. Or excite me. Or keep me interested. At all.
If you watch Fringe (and you should) you've seen this already. There's a group of "beings" that control our lives by making sure certain things happen or do not happen to us, depending on which will bring about the desired future. The motivation behind it is mostly a mystery.
And yes, I realize that the movie was based on a short story by Philip K. Dick (haven't read it) that predates Fringe by like 50 years. But the show probably used that as inspiration for their "observers" storyline, and they do it so much better than The Adjustment Bureau did. So much better.
Anyway, Matt Damon plays a guy named David Norris who runs for office in the NY State Senate, but loses. While rehearsing his concession speech he runs into Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt) and it's love at first sight. But she leaves the building, he loses track of her, and that's it. Life goes on. Then we're in a park in NYC and two of the "Bureau" guys are discussing Damon. Apparently the one guy needs to bump into Matt Damon, or something, and have him spill his coffee on himself so he misses his bus, keeping him from running into Elise again. Bureau dude falls asleep and misses his chance to spill said coffee. Norris shows up at his office earlier than he's supposed to and sees what he's not supposed to: these bureau guys tweaking reality by...
...oh, forget it. Basically, Matt Damon isn't supposed to be with Emily Blunt for some reason, and these Bureau guys are tasked with keeping it from happening. They threaten him with a complete memory wipe if he tries to find her again, but he flips them the proverbial bird and spends the next hour and a half reconnecting with her. Over and over again. The movie trudges along, slowly... slowly... and then there's a lame chase scene that ends on a rooftop. The End.
So, yeah. The mythology of the Bureau guys is so thin in this flick that the movie is still literally making up shit about how their powers (or technology, or whatever) work in the last scene of the movie. They can go through doors and suddenly be on the other side of town instead of in a storeroom, or office, or closet, or whatever (Matrix: Reloaded!), but only because they wear special hats and turn the doorknobs a certain way (seriously). They can freeze an entire office (Dark City!) and plant suggestions in your brain (Inception!) with a colorful flashlight machine. They can move objects with the flicker of a finger and make you trip and sprain your ankle. Why they don't use all of these things from the start with Norris & Emily is a mystery. Oh, well, actually, it's because the movie would only be 5 minutes long.
And that's the real issue here. This was one of those movies that would have been better suited as an hour long episode of a TV show, like The X-Files, or, you know... FRINGE. But since it's a movie, it had to be at least 80 minutes long. And since it's a Matt Damon movie, it had to be longer. Um, that's actually not a dig against the former Mr. Hunting- the absolute best scenes in this movie are the ones with him and Emily Blunt. Those two have a fantastic chemistry on screen. Too bad the movie they got to showcase it in was this pseudo-sci-fi mess. Michael Kelly (my favorite character in the Dawn Of The Dead remake) was great, in the limited screen time he was given. That Anthony Mackie guy was really good, too. He was the only Bureau guy that I cared about, and not just because he was the only one we're supposed to care about. Good actor. Horrible guest on Conan last week, but good actor. Also, Terence Stamp shows up late in the movie and sleepwalks through his role. Sleepshambles, actually. General Zod is starting to look like he got the Fortress Of Solitude Power-Reversal in real life (Nerd!). The rest of those bureau guys were really not good. I mean, how can you screw up a role where it's your job to deliver deadpan, emotionless dialogue?
What else? Um... I dunno, uh... the movie looked OK, I guess. It was one of those blue movies where everything's blue-ish outdoors in the city. I guess that's supposed to be a cold look, or whatever. I just checked, and this was the director(George Nolfi)'s first film. Yeah.
Not a complete loss. I want to give it a 5, but it feels wrong to call it completely "Average" since I actually cared about the two leads. I sort of wish there was no sci-fi element and it was a drama about a lonely up-and-coming political figure who finally finds the love of his life, then loses her... only to find her again. And I HATE those kind of fucking movies. Damn you, Matt Damon, and your affable nature! Damn you Emily Blunt and your totally hot British accent!
EDIT, 6:45 PM: OK. I thought about it over a glass of Grenache, an arugula salad, and a seriously bland slice of pizza at some place on 1st Ave, downtown. Matty D & Emmy B were great, but the movie wasn't, so it balances out to average. I'm adjusting my rating (BOOYAH!).
5 out of 10 silly magic teleportation yarmulkes.
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