From big old question mark to the best of the "Marvel Movie Universe" movies (so far...) in one fell swoop! Kenneth Branaugh pulled off a Herculean feat by turning what is essentially a Marvel "bridge movie" and prequel to The Avengers into something that stands gloriously on its own. I couldn't be happier.
Thor: Wow, this movie should have been ludicrous. I mean, normally if I hear a narration like (and I'm paraphrasing here), "The Asgardians and the Frost Giants waged a war centuries ago..." my Silly Meter buries itself in the red. But, as my friend Josh and I decided, if Anthony Fucking Hopkins says it then, well... GENIUS. And I think that's one of the many things this movie has going for it- talent. Not a bad performance in the whole thing. Chris "I played Kirk's dad for, like, 3 minutes" Hemsworth is a relatively unknown and (until now) certainly unproven actor, but he knocks it out of the park. His Thor starts out appropriately arrogant, rash, and egotistical, but is given a wholly satisfying character arc and becomes so damned likable by the end. I don't know what the God of Thunder is like in the comic book, but as far as Hemsworth's job of driving this celluloid vehicle goes, he's Mario Andretti. Natalie Portman is (as usual) solid as Jane Foster, but not obtrusive, which could easily have been the case after all the Black Swan hoopla. Tom Hiddleston (another relative unknown) plays Thor's sneaky brother Loki with a cold, calculating jealousy right out of a Shakespeare tragedy. Stellan Skarsgård always rocks, no exception here. Anthony Fucking Hopkins ('nuff said). The comic-relief role of Darcy (Kat Dennings), which would normally make me want to claw my eyes out, was, thankfully, underplayed and acttually kind of charming. Hell, even the tertiary roles were pretty well fleshed-out. I suppose it helps when you've got the likes of Ray Stevenson and Idris Elba stacking the cards in your favor (favour?)... but I digress...
A big, red question mark/exclamation point in my head since I first saw the still shots and trailers months ago was the design, specifically the Asgard stuff. I was afraid it would come across as chincy and garish. Instead, it's all so glorious, gold, and warm- a place I'd love to visit, if it were real (I challenge you to see Thor and not wish you could walk down the glass rainbowy bridge for a chat with Stringer Bell). A complete contrast to the Frost Giant realm (did it have a name? I forget. I was too busy shushhing the loud family behind me during that stuff), which was cold (duh), dark, and blue. Actually, I'd say a little too dark... but that probably had to do with the 3-D. Don't even get me started. Fuck it, I started already. The 3-D sucks... did I ever tell you that? I saw Thor at The Ziegfeld where it was, unfortunately, only showing in the 3-D. Now, what was good about Thor's 3-D is that it was basically non-existant. The glasses served as a way to make the movie non-blurry, and that is all. Which is fine, except, you know... I PAID AN EXTRA 5 BUCKS TO WEAR AN UNCOMFORTABLE PAIR OF RISKY BUSINESS SUNGLASSES OVER MY ACTUAL GLASSES FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO SEE A DARKENED VERSION OF THE MOVIE PLAYING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Need... Prozac... now... oh... wait.. I... don't... take... Prozac...
Um, so, the story. Thor defies his dad (Fucking Hopkins as Odin) by attacking the Frost Giants (should I be capitalizing that?), thereby threatening to end the truce between their two worlds. He's banished to Earth and stripped of all his power. His almighty hammer, Mjolnir (yes, it feels nerdy to even type that) is also sent down there, but, like King Arthur's Excalibur, it can only be wielded by one who's worthy. Secret government agency S.H.I.E.L.D. steps in to study the hammer, but no one can lift it, including our Hero. 'Cuz he's not worthy yet. Brother Loki slinks around, revealing his true intentions to rule Asgard to make his dad proud of him for a change (like I said, Shakespearian), sends a giant armored being to destroy Thor, and all hell breaks loose. Oh, and Thor falls in love with an astro-physicist.
Trust me. You want to see it. Even after reading that last paragraph.
I want to talk for a second about the whole S.H.I.E.L.D. thing. Branagh was given the undesirable job of having to essentially shoehorn in the presence of this government agency for no other reason than to set up next summer's Avengers movie. And not only did he handle it with grace, he managed to weave it into the story SO well that only in retrospect do I realize how much it shouldn't have worked. Then again, without the S.H.I.E.L.D (god, it's a pain in the ass to type that. Oh. Right. Caps Lock. Duh) stuff Thor might have been stretched a little thin. I mean, there's only so far you can go with Norse gods and fROST gIANTS (OK. Now I'm just fucking with you, keyboard-wise). I'm crediting Branagh with it, but I'm sure he shared the duty with his screenwriters. Oh, man- there's like 5 of them. OK, I'm giving the victory back to Branagh for making sense of it all. It's not every day that a movie bridging the gap between what has come before and what is yet to come can stand on its own. Also, my man Kenny B actually showed some restraint in his style here. His Shakespeare films are actually a bit more comic-book-y than his first comic book movie. I think maybe he learned a lesson after Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (has anyone revisited that one recently? Is it still as bad as I remember?). Anyway, S.H.I.E.L.D (cut-and-pasted!)- out of the shadows and into the light for the first time. And I actually care to see what happens next with them. Also, I dig that Clark Gregg guy.
What didn't work? Not much, in my humble O. The action is a little front-loaded. The most exciting, grandiose stuff happens in the first 45 minutes. There's plenty of action later on, but it never quite lives up to those big battles in the first half. They were certainly going for a more personal, coming-of-age thing with Thor, which is appreciated, but since the movie cuts between Earth and Asgard throughout it felt slightly... calm (?) in the second half. Another thing- I felt the relationship between Thor and Jane (me Thor, you Jane!) wasn't really earned. The movie takes place over only a couple of days, and by the end it sort of feels like Jane falls in love with Thor because he's all foreign and kinda hot. Well, maybe not that extreme, but... sort of. Anyway, those are the only things that come to mind. I've heard some negativity about Jeremy Renner's small cameo/character introduction (he's in The Avengers), but I thought it was cool. Some people are just not happy unless they're complaining.
If you care about the continuity they're setting up with these Marvel movies (Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk (no, not that one), Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, and The Avengers), stay through the credits for the tease. Probably don't have to tell you that, but I'd feel remiss if I didn't.
8 out of 10 Anthony Fucking Hopkinses
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